Yes, I am a Working Mom!

Yes I woke up and showered today, I blow dried my hair, curled it, put on makeup, put on my work clothes and headed out the door to work. I can have it all! Did you hear me? Before I was a mom I had no idea the struggles I would have face once I became a mom. No I am not talking about not sleeping, or dealing with temper tantrums, I mean the judgement and the guilt you feel. I grew up as a strong and independent woman, I went through years of schooling and  I worked really hard to get into a great college, and then worked really hard to graduate and get a job. I struggled for 4 years working multiple part time jobs, living paycheck to paycheck and paying my loans. Once I finally started my career that is when the questions started. When will you get married? When will you have kids? After I was married I was excited to have kids. I couldn’t wait to start a family. When we got pregnant that is when the judgement and guilt started. After my daughter was born I was asked if I would "quit my job and stay at home", and "daycare is so expensive you should just stay home".

So your telling me that I have worked my whole life to be the person I wanted to be and successful, I was given the option of being a strong independent woman who could be anything she wanted  but now I need to be a mom? Now I need to give it all up and raise my kids? I need to keep paying my $100,000 student loans but I will just stay home and raise my kids? How did I just go from Bethany Frankel status to Florence Henderson from the Brady Bunch?

I am super happy that I am a mom. I always wanted to be a mom, but I want to be the mom that is the role model for my young daughter. I want her to see both parents work really hard and know that she can ask both her mom and dad for advice on life and career aspirations. I want her to feel like she can ask her dad for help just like she can ask me. I want her to want her dad as much as she wants me. I can have a family and also a career and its ok. Its more than OK its my desire and my dream and its my life. My child is not going to miss out because I am not home to raise her 24/7. She is gaining so much from being in daycare with other kids from other cultures. She has no issue being away from me and my husband. She doesn’t cry when I leave in the morning or when her daddy drops her off. She is happy she is thriving and she living the life we have created for her.

Stop judging career moms and just because I have had a child doesn’t mean I need to leave my career behind and live for my child. I wake up everyday with a full heart because of the family I have, and I don’t love them any less because I work. I work to provide for my family and to be able to live a life that we can all enjoy! If you’re a stay a home mom don't think that this is at anyway a dig to you. This is just about how I grew up and saw my life as a kid. I would play house with my friends and I was always the mom who would drop the kids off and go to her job as CEO. I have always wanted to be BOSS, its in my blood and its what I learned from my mom.

I don’t regret my life decisions and I am finally confident in being able to respond to anyone who asks "Will you stay home if you have more kids?" and the answer will be Nope. I am not ashamed of working I don't want my husband to be the bread winner and have all the stress of our financial security. If he ever chose to be a stay at home dad I would support it, its just not the dream I have had for myself.

What are your dreams and aspirations?

XO,

Ash